Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
