I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Randomize
