I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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