I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
