i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
