Whoa Z and x make the same sound
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
