Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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