She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
