Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize