I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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