TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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