I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
