She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
