I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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