Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
