If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
