i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
