She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
