how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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