No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
