Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
