What did we do last night that was yellow?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i think i have two assholes
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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