K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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