i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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