Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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