the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
