all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Randomize
