I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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