i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
