the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
