I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My ass is underappreciated
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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