I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
