got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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