do herpes really smell.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
