You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
