She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
