so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
