It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
