My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
