I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
