that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I cut my penus on the lid.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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