one two three fourrrrnication!
Fuck appropriateness.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
