I could have mohawked her pubes.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
