the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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