It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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