Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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