dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
