What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
