Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So many bounce houses so little time
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm getting married
To pizza
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
