Plan B is the new Plan A
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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