Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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